Thursday, February 19, 2009

NEW AVENGERS ILLUMINATI #1: MOOOOM, THE SKRULLS ARE TOUCHING ME!



[A stream of consciousness live-blog]


Ya know, it's the desert planets you have to look out for. They're always invading. The lush green planets with foliage, they hang out and peel fruit. But the dry places, they'll stab as soon as look at you. If the Middle East were still a verdant plain, none of this mishegaas would be happening today.

Sew those Secret Invasion seeds of corporate synergy!

Uninvited, they just drop by, I didn't have time to tidy up!

I guess Doc transported them or was it Reed? Think of the redeemable miles!

But seriously, wow. What an abrupt and to the f'ing point arrival. Hi, how are ya, don't even think about it...I wish my family was like this on holidays.

Gosh, Reed getting angry. He's always so calm.

Ok, this is not going well.

Uh-oh, great panel with Black Bolt about to speak.

Holy shitski. One word and KABLAMO! The whole place is Detroited.

Run away! Run away!

Nothing like a good Quinjet for a quick escape.

That was like some serious adult Ding-Dong Ditch.

Ah, Namor, so gracious in victory.

Wow. They's blowed out of the sky. Ruh-roh.

Ooooo.. stretching Reed to his limits. That sounds (and looks) painful.

Namor's gettin' cooked. Au Gratin.

He's going to invite his family to watch the torture? These Skrulls...is there anything redeeming about them? I know there's a whole thing with the Terrigen Mists, right? It's all embuey or something.

Hey, it looks like Chuck is standing. He gets cured and uncured a lot, don't he?

Yay, Doc confounds them. I summon the Culottes of Confusion! Is it a skirt or is it shorts? You don't know!

Oh, a Skrull putting on Iron Man's helmet.. that's pissing me off!

Naked Tony. This issue has it all.

Holy Appearing Avengers! Are they real? They can't be real. So cool to see the old team! Seeing them like this really makes me miss them. I would love, love, love, a retro Avengers title that had the 60s and 70s teams in modernly told tales. Like this but the whole dealio.

Go, naked Tony, go!

Yikes. An angry Xavier. He scares me more than Magneto. Must be all the curing and uncuring.

I would very much like to hit something. - Hee!

No, mustn't leave the Eye! Look into my eyes, Tony. Fyvush Finkel!

D'oh! That lone skrull in Reed's torture chamber is gonna be soooo sorry. Go Namor!

By Hoary Host of ABC's Good Morning America...

OoooOOoooo. Galactus. Now, that's a quality illusion! Don't know how many GCI peeps it would take for us plain folks to pull that off.

But, hey, we made it clear that if come for us, the fight will be a real fight. Maybe now they'll look for someone else to pick on.

Pause.

Well, at least now they know it'll be a good fight.


Great moment. And leaving behind a seething, battered, vengeful enemy who's willing to wait.

MUY FANTASTICO.

Love it. It's sooooo great to see so much Doc and I love all of the others too. Also nice to know that the apparently best and brightest minds of the Marvel Universe have just, by their taking the fight to the enemy, started a friggin' war. Nice goin'! Thanks, Earth's Mightiest! Stark Enterprises probably also manufactures duct tape.

Can't wait to read the next ish, but I'll save it. By the Hairpins of Harlem, I will!

- Uatu

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