Friday, March 5, 2010

THE THING IS A NEW AVENGER; WORLD SOMEHOW NEW AND RIGHT AGAIN


In the entire history of the known universe, one social and cultural ill has finally been addressed and rectified: the rehabilitation of Benjamin Grimm, The Thing. The epitome of grumpy-but-loveable Level-10 power in the 60s and 70s, the last couple of decades had reduced him to mere comic relief, and for a guy who's gone toe-to-toe with The Hulk every other Tuesday, his strength has been downplayed or lessened to the extent that my sainted Aunt Mary, at age 97, could take him down after a couple of Harvey's Bristol Creams.

But good things come to those who wait. Benjamin is gonna be a New Avenger in the upcoming "New Avengers" series, which by all rights should be called "New New New Newish-no-Wait-New Again Avengers".

Brian Bendis seems to have really enjoyed his brief forays into Thing-dom in both the regular and Ultimate universes. I may even fork over the $17.99 this comic will cost, if I can't sneak a read at Border's. Just when I thought I was out - they pulled me back in!!! (please channel Al P. in "Godfather 3" for previous sentence).

Cross your fingers. May New A-Ben-ger cleanse the palate from the "FF" movies and years in the wilderness. It's Slobberin' Time. Sigh. I tried.

70s DUMB HULK WILL LIVE-BLOG 2010 OSCARS!!!! GRAAAAHHHH!!!!


HELLO PUNY HUMANS! HULK WILL SMASH YOU ALL. BUT BEFORE HULK DOES HE WILL LIVE-BLOG 2010 OSCARS ON SUNDAY NIGHT. HULK DOES NOT KNOW WHAT A LIVE-BLOG IS BUT HULK HAS A COUPLE OF DAYS TO FIGURE OUT. HULK WILL ASK HANK PYM. HANK PYM IS SMART PUNY HUMAN WHO SMASHES WIFE. HULK WILL SMASH HIM, TOO, BUT ONLY AFTER HULK IS REMINDED HOW TO BLOG. HULK GO NOW. HULK MUST LEAP FROM NEW MEXICO TO FOUR SEASONS HOTEL IN BEVERLY HILLS FOR PRE-OSCAR PRESS JUNKET. HULK WILL ALSO TAKE BRIEF LUNCH WITH EDWARD NORTON TO GIVE PUNY NORTON TIPS ON HOW TO PLAY HIM IN NEXT HULK MOVIE - WHICH HULK KNOWS PUBLIC IS DEMANDING. CURRENTLY PROJECT IS ON HOLD. NO ONE AT MARVEL ENTERTAINMENT WILL RETURN HULK'S CALLS. NO ONE PUTS HULK ON HOLD!!!! HULK WILL SMASH YOU ALL. SEE YOU SUNDAY. BRING BEANS. HULK LIKE BEANS!