HOUSE OF M #8: LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE

[A stream of consciousness live-blog]

Starring Shaun Cassidy as Pietro and Linda Purl as Wanda!

Last Ish...

Love both covers - the Wolverine about to give a very close shave and the black and white one with peeps in various states.

A city at peace... what mansion is that with the double Hs? Doesn't look like the old Avengers Mansion... Hmmmm...

Interesting, so it's like it never was, but it was in their heads, but it wasn't in their heads? Poor Peter. He loves MJ, but she's no Gwen Stacy - THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE AND THERE WILL NEVER BE ANYONE HE LOVES AS MUCH.

Ah, some do remember and some don't. Poor Peter. Man. He's like the perpetually-suffering sad sack of Marvel. He needs to read "The Secret".

Poor Doc! He does not look well. Needs a hug - stat!

Po lil' ex-Xers. They's all a muddle without their powers. Welcome to my world, former muties! You ain't so bad NOW!

Great page-panel of Logan remembering! But I bet he still can't find his keys.

Where the hoodahey is Charles? For a while I thought he was actually Layla.

I gotta say, it's a very clever reboot - no more, well only a few, mutants.

Gosh, it's good to see Cap again. I actually missed him. It was smart to remove him, not just 'cause it was moving to see him old, but because his soothing influence would have been too "settling" and this needed to be unsettling...and it was.

Even in the Marvel Universe we can't escape the FRAKKING EVANGELICALS!

Wow, Doc is in a bad way. I must bundle him!

Oh no. Is he gonna go walk the earth now? Again?

Gosh, that exchange between Peter and Doc was just brutal.

It's Hawkeye isn't it? It's him. Right? He's the one at the mansion cause he's all kaboodled in his head and didn't know where else to go. It's him, right?

I know it's him.

Hee! LOVE the little smile on Cap's face.

Oh yeah, Eric. Disenchancelled. Ouch.

The fork makes a little W for Wanda! Not so magnetic anymore, eh? That's gotta suck. And, his getting his powers back will be a fun story line too.

Tell us what you think, Crazy Hank Pym!

Meanwhile, Wanda markets.

Oooo, energy and actions and reactions...coolsies...story is over but not hardly...actual ramifications to come...Wanda will probably be picking out ripe fruit at the Transian street market through all of it.

The End.

That was terrif. Really enjoyed muchly. Fun reset of the uni, with lots of fun storylines laid out there. So many new wounds to gape open and fester. So much like my life.

HOUSE OF M #7: HE AIN'T HEAVY... HE'S MY LOVER BROTHER

[A stream of consciousness live-blog]

Before we begin, just read House Of M Spidey #4. Great. Loved, loved, loved Ben and the Stacys on their mission. Loved the complete absence of Mary Jane.

Thwip! Very stealthy, that noise. No one would EVER hear him coming.

Okay, on to ish 7...opensies...

Beautiful cover with Wanda cradling her lover, I mean brother, I mean lover, I mean brother, I mean both, ew, I mean just brother, Pietro.

Bigass fightsies. Too bad that little mutant girl couldn't zap everyone there before she went off with Cloak to find Chuck.

Uh-oh, Wanda pieces.

Angry Quicksilver likes his sister WAY too much.

Hee. Love the cutout/inset of Doc's reaction. He thinks Quicksilver likes his sister way too much, too. There should be a spell for that.

Such polite greetings. Wanda, you look well. Thank you for rending the very fabric of spacetime. Got any lady fingers?

Ooo, crazy Wanda eyes. Doc is the perfect person for this task. He's so calm, gracious and in control and he loves me. And, he asks the question that's been plaguing me. How long has she been "playing with the world"? Probably longer than Stephen has been playing with mine.

That puzzle piece device is fabu. Rubik's Reality.

Doc sees all. I wonder if he sees anything from Yummy Cupcakes in my future.

That Pietro/Eric scene is one my all-time faves. Sooooo beautifully done. And now, more.. poor Wanda, poor Pietro....and fwiw, I love the subtle change in the Doc panels as he watches these scenes from the past...is eyes change. He is probably thinking about me.

Great stuff... it wasn't Magento.. very, very nice.

I actually gasped at the Wanda with an arrow in her just as she was going to tell Doc what he needed to know. Hawkeye? Did you do that?

Oh shit. Mageneto.

Clint! Damn it. Fuckin' freelancers.

Love hurts.

Lots.

Damn those Wanda kids are scary. Worse than Kimora Lee Simmons'.

There goes Hawkeye again. I understand his anger, but damn man....t-t-timing.

For God's sake Doc, get control of this situation! And my heart!

Uh-oh, Daddy's angry.

Wow. I've never seen or even really thought about a truly cheesed-off Magneto before. He's always been so calm and in control. I'm scared.

Did he kill him????

No... maybe, she Wanda-ized him back.

Talk about daddy issues. Wow.

Uh-oh is right.

No more mutants. Wow. Cool.

I wonder what Doc is doing in that panel. The mutants above are being disenchancelled, but he's not a mutant, and he's workin' his magic mojo somethin' fierce....

And back to white we go.

Wow, that was great! What a jam-packed issue. Jinkies. No more mutants. Can't wait to see how that plays out! I know they must remutantate at some point, but what a fun, cool idea.

I know this wasn't a funny blog entry, cause I was taking it so seriously. I'm a geek. I'll be snarkier next time. :-)

- Spineless, wishy-washy, yellow-belly Bruce Banner

HOUSE OF M #6: WHAT IF YOU THREW A PARTY AND EVERYONE CAME

Stomachs in!

[A stream of consciousness live-blog]

Reading because the world has gone mad...

Have to admit, Emma's powers of persuasion are pretty spanky. Controlling so many minds at once, implanting thoughts, it's like she's an evangelical preacher...

Hmmm.. Doom is not in the crazy-bin...this is where I wonder if I read out of order, or if this will be explained or I just have to go with it 'cause not all of it makes sense anyway... I'll take Door Number Three, Monty.

Love the little exchange re: their wimmins between Luke and Spidey. They are doodle-bugs even though Luke is all street and Electric Boogaloo.

That's a tough one, Scott. No moral restraint. Yes, everything is on the line, but winning at all cost? Quite the ethical pickle!

And, for all the moral conundruming, Doc is conspicously silent. Where art thou, Stephen?

The parade of dignitaries at Magnus' shindig is kinda creepy... they got sumptin' planned... I hope.

The Magnuses are a nice looking family, I'll give them that. They're like the Windsors only with jawlines....but the double-mint twins, Little Lord Fauntleroy boys - kreepee

Ok, that giant Sentinel thingy flying at them and Magnus is all, oh, no you di-int and the stopping with his magnety hand.. and people are like holy shit and and it's like really big and cool and stuff.

Giant 2 pager - I loves those...

Fight! Fight! Fight! Can't we all just get along?

Oooo, Cloak going all poof and leaving a puddle of his cloaky self....neato. I want to fix him up with my acupuncturist. Just think she'd adore him.

No Charles = bad. No Charles bones = good.

The end? Poop.

That was way too fast. Read it in half-a-cupcake-eating. Damnitalltoheck.

Only about 15,000 issues left!

HOUSE OF M #5: MISTY WATER-COLORED MEMORIES

[A stream of consciousness live-blog]

Opensies. readsies....

They's walkin' on her brains. Boy, no pressure. Subtle Emma is not.

Wow, did Scott barf? Is it solar-powered?

Coolsies... going to get Peter. It's so great to see that others know how cool and important he is! To sales!

What a GREAT two-paneler! Oh, Gwendy! MJ sucks. Just reminding myself.

Wow, 3 different images of her death...important? Just a little! MJ who? Redhead, freckles? What-EV...

Poor Peter.... quipping and gripping, his two biggest strengths.

Yay, Doc! But, trim that fu-manchu stat!

You go, little Layla! Clap on! No use? Cap? Even at 100 I want him on my team.

Again with them all together... I get all goosepimpley. Gotta say, I love seeing all the in plain clothes - suits. Sexy.

Boy, are these cats spoilin' for a fight or what? Mess with my mind wills ya!?!

So, Charles, eh? Hmmmmm...My money is on Wanda with an assist from Magneto, but him being missing and his powers, it does make sense....

Poor Hawkeye.. so very messed up. Is it because he had never had own series? Or is it that he doesn't have his own series because he's so very messed up?

Ah...so Hawkeye left, maybe now he goes and has his Pulse 10 adventure and his Where's Wanda...

Is Layla part of Wanda? Or a part of all os us? Or just a street urchin who's a part of no one? I know, I know, shuddup and read!

Hmmm.. Magneto, still hot.... brooding...and visiting Chuck's marker... hmmm.... tbc.

Cliff Notes: Things are still weird but now all the heroes know it and they're cheesed.

HOUSE OF M #4: PLEASE, HOLD ME

[A stream of consciousness live-blog]

Okay reading...when last we left things were all What-If?fy...

Hawkeye with the shooting the and the arrows and the not being dead.

Genosha.. sounds like planned community in Florida - gracious seaside living for the 55+ active mutant. Either that or a pasta...I'll have the Genosha Fazool and side salad.

Ok, little Magnus grandchild is freaky...yes, it's good, Anthony, what you did is good.... don't wish me into the cornfield...but Eric's dark look... not of the good.

Hee, Clint, shoot first and ask questions if they aren't dead...

Cloak is seriously handy to have around. With him I could get into Le Dome.

And, I love how Logan is such a tough so-and-so, but with serious inner doodle. He's the one who took care of the kid. He likes kids and not in an icky way.

What's an Avenger? - Ouch.... so sad...

Lorna Doone is Magneto's child? Or is it Lorna Luft? Does have magnety powers or merely the power to entertain at supperclubs?

The human one? Wanda...now, that's interesting!

So, who's the girl who knows? Hmmm... Iron Fist - yay.. Moon Knight - Pfft....can't get into a guy who wears the same color scheme as Mr. Stay Puft.

What they always wanted....I'll have to noodle on that. I guess mutant-wise speaking they've got it going pretty well, but...

Ok... they went to Emma Frosts and she remembers, but I have no idea how or what the kid means or what she saw.....I'm so confoozled.

Cliff Notes: I am lost and need to be held.

HOUSE OF M #3: AFFECTED BY THE HOUSING BUBBLE?

[A stream of consciousness live-blog]

Okay so when last we left all the Marvel heroes were all confused and in opposite-land and I can barely keep up with what's happening in their real reality anyway, and please hold me.

Okay reading...

HUUUULLLKKK!!!! Bless his beautiful hide. I've missed him. Apparently in real universe he is currently on another planet or Narnia or Lancaster. Banished by Iron Man, Mister Fantastic (he has a strong sense of self), some guy who doesn't speak because if he does big kill-y shockwaves come out of his mouth, and Sub-Mariner, who hates everyone but clearly needs friends. I'm sure Hulk will come back just in time for his movie with Ed Norton, if only to host the special effects Oscars.

This week, a clip show - the best of Wolverine... more great art.

Oh, love his take/expression on the "Lord Magnus" line. Lord Magnus sounds like the new male fragrance from Lancome. Lord Magnus. Rule Your Desire. Get one of the dudes from "Rome" to be the actor in the commercial and you're good.

He just jumped... and landed... ow. Would love to have Wolverine's healing factor, though. Better than Pamprin and much, much faster.

That Pulse cover is a riot. Erik Magnus played by Warren Beatty. I like when movie star faces show up on these characters. Gives them that extra bit of verismilitude. I bet Warren Beatty/Magnus has had every heroine at one time or another. Truly magnetic.

Why does Logan remember.... and no one else (yet)? Because he is a mutant? Because he is a flagship character? Does Hugh Jackman suddenly know everything as well? How will this affect his Oscar gig? Maybe it will move faster this year.

Ohhhh, it's like a whole thing - two page mag spread. Funsies. Artwork is incredible.

And gay icon - Namor.

Octavius - Bio-ethicist... wow. I thought he would be a professional character actor like Alfredo Molina, and Molina in this world would be a short-order cook. I wasn't even close.

Tony and a hostile takeover.

Hmmm.. Mastermind...he looks soooo much like this guy I always see staring at me at Starbucks. All he needs is a crossword book.

Shang-Chi! Now I'm hungry.

Tony and an illegitmate kid with a model. In this reality he is even more of a mougar (male cougar). He probably won't want to leave when things get all fix-apated.

Hee... love how Logan takes the bike.. looking for Chuck, good idea... no dice... Interesting that he chooses Petey as his next port of call...probably because Pete seems so suggestible, so reed-in-the-wind, who am I? all the time. I get it but not attractive, post age 27. How the hell old is Peter McSpider-Man supposed to be, anyway? He drawn like a wanna-be vaguely-20-ish L.A. struggling actor. "How old am i? Well, I can PLAY seventeen too twenty-seven."

Who or what is that cloaked black hole person thingy and can we send him to Congress?

Ooooo, Luke. He's even cooler in this world.

HAWKEYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy crap on a crutch. He died like a year ago, and now he's alive in a world. Gone. Mad!!!

Cliff Notes: So Wolverine knows that it's all a cha-raaade and tries to convince peeps that they are not real while running from them and cutting off their ears. Peter McSpider-Man looks to be the easiest mark to believe this insane story from a 5 foot-nothing Canadian animal-human hybrid. Hawkeye-the-very-popular-but-not-enough-to-have-his-own-series-dead Avenger is alive and probably famished. Then an anti-marijuana ad after the last page, and now I want to smoke even though I haven’t in years, thank you, The Man, and we're out.

HOUSE OF M #2: AGAIN WITH THE MAGICKS

[A stream of consciousness live-blog]

"I'm The Prince Of Polarity and I approve this neo-realistic rendering."

Okay begin...


Is that old man, Cap? Wow. No Infinity Formula by Lancôme to keep him youngified. He looks like a young george Jessel or an old Norm Crosby.

The city's dirty with muties.

She done pulled a switcharoo. It's "White Man's Burden" with humans & mutants. Which was also a hideous movie with John Travolta from the 90s. The nineties were strange. Flashing on severe male haircuts and too much flannel.

Emma Frost's cleavage hasn't changed. Still a starring role. Do they have psi-powers or do men just automatically obey their commands?

So much for Sue and Reed. Stretch THIS.

Talk shows..and Gambit being cocky...don't really get the whole I-throw-cards-at-people mutant power, but he wouldn't last 3 minutes at Pochanaga Casino.

Namor - the first mutant - that's interesting....is he also the first asshole? What a 'tude.

...my mom has a kind of fixation with him. - HEE.

Sam the cop and Luke the gangsta. Kingpin still the Kingpin. Still loves carbs.

Doc's a shrinker. Hee. Sentry still has a-Void-ance issues.

Love the Colossus bit. Wonder what the pitch was for him back in the day. "Tungsten Communist"? Probably.

Crazy old Hank The Pymster (Ant-Man, Yellowjacket, Giant-Man, Goliath, Tesla Coil, Paper Cup, Salad Fork, etc. - the man has more secret IDs than miles of intestine) is on to something. Save the Sapiens! I wonder if Planet of the Apes in this world is Planet of the Sapiens....get your filthy hands off me, you damned dirty...................person.

It bunches in front when I summon the elements. - Hee... and more boobs, maybe the most revealing decolletage yet... and obsequious Jan - yuck!

James? Wonder why she's calling Logan/Wolverine that. But, regardless, I'm with you, Logan! SHIELD no mas? Now it's House of Magnus with creepy faux Iron Men? Cool.

Wow, this is going to be some ride. Lots to ingest. They must have had a freakin' blast writing all of this. It's WHAT IF? on mush-roofies.

I can't wait to read the Spider-Man miniseries-ish and find out if I was right about what I think I saw (Gwensies and her Magical 1971 headband). I think I am, but with Wanda large and in charge, who knows? And, I get the feeling reality will keep shifting until I just can't stand it and want Bobby to step out of the shower at South Fork. I'm old and there are wolves after me and I need my pills :-p

Cliff Notes: Things are weird.

HOUSE OF M #1: MAGICKAL PMS

[A stream of consciousness live-blog]

Part One...

This variant cover, the one with Wanda coming apart in jigsaw pieces by Quesada, is a fabulous piece of art. Personal note: buy Alleve.

Don't know what the "real" non-variant cover looks like but I have a feeling it has boobies on it. Willing to be wrong.

Okay readsies...

She's birthin' babies. Beloved Stephen - you look great! Artist agrees with you. And lookee it's... *sniff*... Vizh. I thought he was all disassembled and dischancelled. Oh wait he is. This is a dream. Like "LOST". Tell me they have any idea as to where that show is going. They got nuthin'. Stop watching.

Oh boy... nothing like telling a mother who (in her head) has just given birth that she has no babies and to "put it back". Hold me, I'm skeered. Crazy screaming white-eyed baby. Oh, I'm gonna have nachtmares. Maybe Stephen will enter the dream realm and buy me a scone.

Poor Wanda. Man, so brutal. Remind me never to lose my mind.

Wow, Erik's looking mighty hot in his deshabille. Did you know that manly naked feet are sexy. Same with forearms. Go figure, but it's true.

Genosha's a bit of a fixer-upper, isn't it?

The Falcon's put on a little weight.

Stark Tower....no fly-ups.

Hank McCoy is a jealous little girl. - Hee.

Wowsie. I love the groups shots. Never fails to send shivers of awe through me to see them all together like that. Hank and Janet? Is that Sentry in the background. hmmmm... it's all higgledy-piggledy already.

I love you Doctor Strange! (He didn't do anything, i just had to say it again.)

Poor Pietro. He really does love (to a freaky extent even) his sister, but then all they've had to rely on is each other. Such a sad scene between him and Magneto. :-( Ga-reat art - the expressions...oh man, this is fabu.

Oh, Cap, always looking on the bright side. And my man, Doc, isn't ready to give up either. I LOVE THESE MEN!

Off to see wanda... and when Chuck says "Oh, no."... you KNOW it's not good. Peeps disappearing....

Doc is so calm.

Love the little bit of Spidey's head peering around the corner.

Blonde hair in bed with him! Oh.My.God. It's Gwen, isn't it? He's got a chitlin and it's with Gwen. Oh.My.God.

Cliff Notes: All the Marvel heroes get together in a penthouse to say, hey, let's kill Wanda because her PMS is altering reality, and Cap says no way she's family and not even beloved Stephen and Professor X know what the hell to do. So they all take a super-Concorde over to Genosha (smoky-rubbly-corpsey island of dead mutants) and are about to do something, even though they don't know yet what that is, and then there's a big white screen-wipe and Peter McSpider-Man wakes up next to the dead-love-of-his-life and forty-ish male readers nationwide touch themselves as one. Can't wait for ish 2.