Thursday, February 12, 2009


[A stream of consciousness live-blog]

Okay so when last we left all the Marvel heroes were all confused and in opposite-land and I can barely keep up with what's happening in their real reality anyway, and please hold me.

Okay reading...

HUUUULLLKKK!!!! Bless his beautiful hide. I've missed him. Apparently in real universe he is currently on another planet or Narnia or Lancaster. Banished by Iron Man, Mister Fantastic (he has a strong sense of self), some guy who doesn't speak because if he does big kill-y shockwaves come out of his mouth, and Sub-Mariner, who hates everyone but clearly needs friends. I'm sure Hulk will come back just in time for his movie with Ed Norton, if only to host the special effects Oscars.

This week, a clip show - the best of Wolverine... more great art.

Oh, love his take/expression on the "Lord Magnus" line. Lord Magnus sounds like the new male fragrance from Lancome. Lord Magnus. Rule Your Desire. Get one of the dudes from "Rome" to be the actor in the commercial and you're good.

He just jumped... and landed... ow. Would love to have Wolverine's healing factor, though. Better than Pamprin and much, much faster.

That Pulse cover is a riot. Erik Magnus played by Warren Beatty. I like when movie star faces show up on these characters. Gives them that extra bit of verismilitude. I bet Warren Beatty/Magnus has had every heroine at one time or another. Truly magnetic.

Why does Logan remember.... and no one else (yet)? Because he is a mutant? Because he is a flagship character? Does Hugh Jackman suddenly know everything as well? How will this affect his Oscar gig? Maybe it will move faster this year.

Ohhhh, it's like a whole thing - two page mag spread. Funsies. Artwork is incredible.

And gay icon - Namor.

Octavius - Bio-ethicist... wow. I thought he would be a professional character actor like Alfredo Molina, and Molina in this world would be a short-order cook. I wasn't even close.

Tony and a hostile takeover.

Hmmm.. Mastermind...he looks soooo much like this guy I always see staring at me at Starbucks. All he needs is a crossword book.

Shang-Chi! Now I'm hungry.

Tony and an illegitmate kid with a model. In this reality he is even more of a mougar (male cougar). He probably won't want to leave when things get all fix-apated.

Hee... love how Logan takes the bike.. looking for Chuck, good idea... no dice... Interesting that he chooses Petey as his next port of call...probably because Pete seems so suggestible, so reed-in-the-wind, who am I? all the time. I get it but not attractive, post age 27. How the hell old is Peter McSpider-Man supposed to be, anyway? He drawn like a wanna-be vaguely-20-ish L.A. struggling actor. "How old am i? Well, I can PLAY seventeen too twenty-seven."

Who or what is that cloaked black hole person thingy and can we send him to Congress?

Ooooo, Luke. He's even cooler in this world.

HAWKEYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy crap on a crutch. He died like a year ago, and now he's alive in a world. Gone. Mad!!!

Cliff Notes: So Wolverine knows that it's all a cha-raaade and tries to convince peeps that they are not real while running from them and cutting off their ears. Peter McSpider-Man looks to be the easiest mark to believe this insane story from a 5 foot-nothing Canadian animal-human hybrid. Hawkeye-the-very-popular-but-not-enough-to-have-his-own-series-dead Avenger is alive and probably famished. Then an anti-marijuana ad after the last page, and now I want to smoke even though I haven’t in years, thank you, The Man, and we're out.

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