1970s HULK HANDICAPS OSCARS

HULK HATE PUNY HUMANS --- HULK HATE PUNY BANNER MOST OF ALL -- BUT HULK LOVE MOVIES. HULK HAS SEEN ALL MOVIES ABOUT HULK. HULK PREFER MOST RECENT MOVIE WITH ED NORTON BUT HULK NO WANT TO HURT ANG LEE’S FEELINGS BECAUSE HULK HAVE SCREENPLAY.

HULK LOOKING FORWARD TO OSCARS. HULK BIG FAN OF HUGH JACKMAN. HUGH JACKMAN BEST PETER ALLEN EVER. YOU NO AGREE WITH HULK??!!! HULK SMASH!!!!!!!!!!

HULK DONE SMASHING AND READY FOR OSCAR PICKS NOW.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS -

HULK DOESN’T CARE.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR -

EVEN HULK KNOW HEATH LEDGER WIN. HULK PREFER JOSH BROLIN IN “MILK” BECAUSE HULK LIKE MILK. HULK LIKE MILK THE DRINK, NOT PUNY HUMAN MILK. HULK NOT GAY. WHY EVERYONE THINK THAT?

BEST ACTRESS -

ANNE HATHAWAY, “RACHEL GETTING MARRIED” -

HULK LIKE “PRINCESS DIARIES”. HULK DID NOT SEE THIS MOVIE. MOVIE IN LIMITED RELEASE AND HULK ALWAYS BEING CHASED AND CAPTURED BY PUNY HUMANS.

ANGELINA JOLIE, “CHANGELING” -

ANGELINA UNDERSTAND HULK. ANGELINA FEED POOR CHILDREN AND TALK ABOUT PEACE. HULK WANT PEACE, TOO. HULK JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE. ANGELINA PRETTY FOR PUNY HUMAN. MAKE HULK NERVOUS. ANGELINA WIN. IF ANGELINA LOSE, HULK WILL SMASH YOU ALL.

MELISSA LEO, “FROZEN RIVER” -

HULK YAWN. HULK WANT BEANS.

MERYL STREEP, “DOUBT” -

HULK HATE TO BE BITCHY, BUT HULK “DOUBT” VERY MUCH STREEP WIN BECAUSE STREEP WIN SO MUCH STREEP BORING. HULK LIKE FRESH FACES. HULK HAVE LIMITED ATTENTION SPAN. HULK “DOUBT” STREEP WILL BE WALKING AWAY WITH OSCAR FOR “DOUBT”. HULK HATE PUNY STREEP. STREEP TURN DOWN HULK’S SCREENPLAY. HULK WILL SMASH HER BECAUSE HULK IS THE STRONGEST ONE THERE IS.

KATE WINSLET, “THE READER” -

HULK NO CAN READ. HULK’S COLUMN TYPED BY HULK’S ONLY FRIEND, BETTY. SO IMAGINE ANGER HULK FELT TO SEE THIS MOVIE. MOVIE MAKE FUN OF HULK BECAUSE HULK CANNOT READ. HULK HATE MOVIE, HULK HATE KATE WINSLET, HULK HATE BELOW-THE-LINE TALENT AND HULK HATE BONDING COMPANY!!! HULK SWEARS HE WILL SMASH YOU ALL IF IT IS LAST THING HULK DOES.

BEST ACTOR

RICHARD JENKINS, “THE VISITOR” -

BAH! HULK NO RECOGNIZE THIS ACTOR. ACTOR HAVE BAD REPRESENTATION. ACTOR NEED TO CAMPAIGN MORE. HULK SMASH ACTOR’S REPRESENTATION.

FRANK LANGELLA, “FROST-NIXON”

GRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! HATE HATE NIXON!!!! NIXON SEND PUNY SOLDIERS AFTER HULK ALL THROUGHOUT LATE 60s AND EARLY 70s!!!! PUNY NIXON WANT TO CAPTURE HULK AND DROP HULK ON CAMBODIA. HULK NO WORK FOR THE MAN. HULK CRUSH NIXON AND NIXON’S WIFE PAT!!!!

BUT HULK MUST SAY, HULK SAW MOVIE AND LANGELLA GIVE REMARKABLE, LAYERED, SYMPATHETIC AND POWERFUL PERFORMANCE. HULK SAY, HELLO, FRANK LANGELLA, OSCAR’S CALLING ON LINE ONE!

SEAN PENN, “MILK” -

HULK CAN NO LONGER DISTINGUISH BEWTEEN SEAN PENN AS CHARACTER AND SEAN PENN HULK SEES IN NEWSPAPERS WHO HATE REPORTERS AND SCREAM AT BUSH ADMINISTRATION. HULK LAUGH BECAUSE HULK KNOW YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE SYSTEM FROM WITHIN THE SYSTEM. HULK MAY BE DUMB, BUT HULK KNOW A FEW THINGS.

ALSO, HULK STILL REMEMBER 1987’S “SHANGHAI SURPRISE”. MAKES HULK ANGRY. HULK SAY SEAN PENN LOSE.

BRAD PITT, “THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON”

HULK SUSPECT THIS BRAD PITT’S YEAR. BUT IF PITT WIN, HULK WILL SMASH HIM AND GIVE OSCAR TO LANGELLA. IF LANGELLA SAY NO, HULK WILL SMASH LANGELLA TOO.

MICKEY ROURKE, “THE WRESTLER” -

WHAT THE FUCK MICKEY ROURKE DO TO MICKEY ROURKE’S FACE?!! MICKEY ROURKE LOOK LIKE KAYE BALLARD. HULK WILL SMASH THEM BOTH.

BEST DIRECTOR -

HULK DOES NOT KNOW WHO IS IN THIS CATEGORY BUT HAS FINGERS CROSSED FOR ANG LEE.

BEST PICTURE -

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE. HULK HAS NOT SEEN MOVIE, BUT ALL PUNY HUMANS KEEP TELLING HULK BEFORE THEY TRY TO CAPTURE AND DESTROY HULK THAT HULK MUST SEE THIS MOVIE BECAUSE HULK WILL SIMPLY ADORE IT, AND IT HAS POOR PEOPLE IN IT WITH HOPE AND THAT HULK WILL CRY AT MIDDLE AND END. HULK CANNOT GO TO A STARBUCKS WITHOUT HULK HEARING ABOUT THIS MOVIE. HULK IS SICK OF IT. HULK WILL SMASH PUNY MOVIE SO OSCAR GO TO “BENJAMIN BUTTON”. THEN HULK WILL BE EVEN MADDER AND THEN HULK WILL SMASH YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HULK ALSO SAY “FROST/NIXON” MAY SURPRISE US ALL.

HULK TIRED. HULK FEEL PUNY BANNER IN HULK’S HEAD, RETURNING. HULK SAY GOOD-BYE FOR NOW, AND KEEP REACHING FOR STARS.

- HULK