Wednesday, March 4, 2009

INFINITY GAUNTLET #2: BUNS OF VIBRANIUM

[A stream of consciousness live-blog]


Let us pause a moment to appreciate Cap's tuchus. Like Michelangelo's David, that's a hiney I shan't soon forget. God Bless you, Cap!

Ok, moving on...

By Odin's Beard! Thor has a beard. He looks like Merlin Olsen. By the way, despite what you may have heard, Father Murphy was not a spin-off from Little House on the Prairie. I'm glad we cleared that up.

Why is She-Hulk dressed like Debbie Gibson? Shake your love. I just can't shake your love. Shake your love. I just can't shake your love... Good times.

Albino Vision? Wtf? Seriously. Whose brainchild was that?

Quasar? Epic? Man, I'm lost.

Again with the Kree/Skrull blamage.

Ah, Stephen. Thank the Vishanti, you're here. Hold me.

Pymsie! God knows what he'll have in mind. Maybe his Yule Log persona this time? Hee! He was no help at all. There for like 5 seconds then he has to jet the Left Coast. Thanks for nothing, Yule!

Ok, and again with the... what the hell.. who is the green Taurus Bulba? This issue is making my spleen hurt.

Coolness with the spirit being called to the astral plane of silhouettes and stuff.

Oh, man, who is it? I wanna knoooooowww!

But, if Stephen trusts him. I trust him. For now.

I'm actually relieved to see Doom is still Doom.

Eros has very girly eyes. He looks a little like one of the Pontipee Brothers. Big cyber-kisses if you know who that is!

Oh, thank you for labeling the gallery of Disappeared Supers! Puck? I wish Luke Cage were still around.

Ah-ha! He's not the original Thor or Merlin Olsen. It's Dan Haggerty.

The Ceremonial Eyepatch of Sorrow did I immediately don-- I can't stop giggling. The Jockstrap of Concern...

Oooo, Manitou? Remember when that thing came out of Susan Strasberg? It has been 400 years since it's last reincarnation.... It kind of moves sometimes... The soul of Black Magic is waiting to be reborn. Starring Michael Ansara, Stella Stevens and Tony Curtis. Do yourself a favor and watch it. Behold the greatness of this film
here!


Sorry, back on track...

Ok, the Sky-Fathers are full of a lot of trash talk, but I don't see any action.

Epoch is... unfortunate looking, isn't he? Hard to get a date I bet with the other floating heads with that eyeball sticking out of your ear.

Ohmygod an ALF joke.

Ok, Pip and Hume Cronyn are after Thanos. Good luck with that. With 4 issues to go, you're screwed.

How the hell did Doom get there and why does Doc look blue? Not cool.

Warlock. He's got the hair and the eyes of our previous silhouetted friend... Hmmm....

Wow, this Thanos stuff is messed up. Someone's got unresolved issues.

So, it was Deus Ex I'm About to Get My Own Book and I Need the Exposure First, I mean Warlock.

Ya know, he looks an awful lot like Daimon Hellstrom just with a sun-kissed blond thing instead of the flamage.. I'm just sayin'. I like Daimon. My jury's still out on Adam.

I must lead the forces of Sanity - Well, that leaves Pym out.

I like Galactus. Sure, he eats worlds, but he's got that somethin' somethin'.

The Universe is huge, bigger than Wal-Mart even, and somehow our scrawny little planet is always in the line of fire.

Poor Cloak.

Yay, Wolverine!

Who cleans up all these messes? Have they ever done an ish on the clean-up crew. Imagine getting that contract? You'd be rich!

Ah, Iron Man! The entire West Coast gone? But what about the Champions? Oh yeah, no one cares!

Keep it together, Wanda!

Oh, no.. Asgard! Odin better put on his Ceremonial Depends.

Subby! And Namorita... *sniff* Looking not blue, I might add. What is it with Marvel and turning characters blue? I spurn them!

It's by sheer chance I am flying over Atlantic City. - She's got two shows at the Tropicana.

Hee, they even put a big "A" on the back of the chairs at Avengers HQ!

Oh, so now the INhumans want to help. Pfft.

Thank God, Doc's house was spared.... and nothing else. Thank the Vishanti for clean living and a hastily prepared protection spell.

And we're outtie for another ish.

2 comments:

  1. A few possible answers and clarifications (unless you'd rather find out on your own):

    ---

    Albino Vision? Wtf? Seriously. Whose brainchild was that?

    That version of Vision was pretty cool (at least to ME).
    It's a John Byrne bit of thinking.
    He figured, the Vision was made to look "otherworldly"... as a "vision", like a spectre, so having him lose all his emotions and being recast as a Dr. Manhattan-like character, unfeelingly observing mankind, was a nice trick.

    Sadly, other writers couldn't grok it, and it floundered badly.

    If you want the good version, you've got to pick up Byrne's issues of West Coast Avengers.

    ---

    "what the hell.. who is the green Taurus Bulba?"

    I'm assuming you mean RINTRAH. Dr. Strange's (then) APPRENTICE.

    Rintrah, the former apprentice to Enitharmon the Weaver (who fixed Doc's cloak after it was destroyed) was integral to helping Strange regain his Sanctum and save the lives of Wong, Topaz... and Earth, waaaay back at the end of the "master of the Mystic Arts" series.

    ---


    "Who cleans up all these messes? Have they ever done an ish on the clean-up crew. Imagine getting that contract? You'd be rich!"

    Actually... Marvel DID (and does) have an agency that deals with superhuman wreckage and "disaster" recovery.
    The cape and tights version of F.E.M.A., except it's a private company called: DAMAGE CONTROL.

    They had a bunch of (humorous) mini-series, and then were ignored for about a decade, until they reappeared in issues of Wolverine and World War Hulk.

    ---

    I could keep going, but I have to leave SOMETHING for other commenters, right?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi there and thanks for the comments!

    I'll have to trust you on the Albino Vizh. I'd hate to see him unfeeling and above it all. *sniff* I'm a softy.

    I guess I haven't gotten to the Rintrah Doc issues yet. Happily, there are oodles I've yet to read. 40 years is a lot to catch up on.

    Feel free to chime in any time!

    ReplyDelete