Friday, March 6, 2009


Runny nose, dizziness and DECREASE IN SEMEN.

These are actual potential side effects of a drug I keep seeing ads for called FloMax. I have no idea what it's supposed to do or help you with, but in the ads a bunch of white-haired but still-vigorous 50ish men first look like it really, really hurts to pee, and then suddenly they are smiling like they all dropped a bag of hammers out of their urethras.

Anything that passes through your oboe and makes it easier to pee but ALSO DECREASES YOUR SEMEN probably has stuff like high fructose corn syrup and aspartame in it.

Now, the possible side effects they report are the ones that cleared the legal department. They COULD NOT HIDE the fact that this drug possibly decreases your semen. How many test bunnies did it take to reach this conclusion? "Sir, ALL of the bunnies are depressed and cannot get an erection. We even brought in a bunch of hot girl bunnies, and nothing. BUT, I'm happy to report, they all pee like Florida Skunk Apes. Just friggin' gallons of the stuff. You know who'll like this drug? Handsome, 50-ish men. Who do we have to blow at Health And Human Services?"

Is this what happens as soon as you join AARP? Do you wake up and say to yourself, man, I would really like to pee more easily and efficiently, and oh, throw in a lowered sperm count, too. Because I'm not peering deeply enough into the abyss yet. Make me unable to get excited by Tina Louise, too. Thanks, FloMax!

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