Tuesday, February 24, 2009


Give me that cake or I'll rip your arm off. Seriously. I'm retaining the Monongahela here, my shoes don't fit anymore. I need new shoes. God these are ugly shoes. Are you going to put that away or are you waiting for the goddamn maid cause I don't have anything better to do than pick up after you. Call your mother, cause I ain't doin' it. I've got my own shit to deal with, ok? I've got stuff. I mean, I'm really trying here and you don't love me, do you? Why would you? No, I'm not crying. Shut up. God, I want a pretzel. Not those crappy Gluton-free ones you buy, I want a real pretzel. A soft pretzel with giant hunks of salt.. salt so big Peter Dinklage could live inside one. God, my back is killing me. If you think you're touching my breasts tonight, you're nuts. Not that you'd even want to. God, I'm a cow. Don't look at me. Are you going to finish that cake or what?

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