Monday, February 23, 2009

HULK WATCH OSCARS!!!!!!!!!!!!


GRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! HULK COULD NOT GET INTO OSCARS THIS YEAR BECAUSE OF MIX-UP AT GERSH AGENCY. ALSO PUNY HUMANS AFRAID HULK WOULD SMASH KODAK THEATRE. PUNY HUMANS MAY HAVE BEEN RIGHT. IF YOU HAVE EVER SEEN TRAFFIC NEAR KODAK THEATRE, EVEN ON WEEKEND, YOU WOULD WANT TO SMASH, TOO.

SO HULK WATCH OSCARS ON TV. HULK LIVE-BLOGGING:

RED CARPET -

HULK NOT KNOW WHO MILEY CYRUS IS, BUT IN DRESS SHE LOOK LIKE WAITRESS AT KNOTT’S BERRY FARM.

HULK WANT TO SMASH RYAN SEACREST. BUT HULK KNOW HIS TEETH WOULD REASSEMBLE AND COME BACK TO HAUNT HULK.

ANGELINA LOOK PRETTY. HULK FEEL FUNNY AND WARM.

HULK HAS NOT SEEN “HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL” BECAUSE HULK SMASHES HIGH SCHOOLS AND MUSICALS. BUT HULK THINKS THAT ZACK EFFRON LOOKS LIKE DAVID CASSIDY SLEPT WITH DAVID CASSIDY AND HAD A BABY. HULK KNOWS THIS IMPOSSIBLE BUT LOOK AT HIM AND TELL HULK THAT HULK IS WRONG.

THE SHOW -

WOLVERINE INCREDIBLY GAY. HULK ALWAYS SUSPECTED BUT NOW HULK REALLY KNOW. HULK HAS NO PROBLEM WITH IT, HULK IS JUST SAYING. LAST TIME HULK SAW SO MANY DANCERS WEARING TIGHT GOLD PANTS, HULK WAS FIGHTING THE LEADER IS TIMES SQUARE, AND PUNCHED LEADER’S ROBOT INTO THEATRE WHERE “STARLIGHT EXPRESS” WAS SHOWING.

HULK THINKS ANN HATHAWAY CUTE AS BUTTON. GIRL CAN SING! HULK LIKE SINGING BUTTON-GIRL.

HULK HAPPY FOR PENELOPE CRUZ. PENELOPE CRUZ PRETTY. HULK STILL LIKE ANGELINA, TOO. ANGELINA HAD BETTER WIN OR HULK SMASH KODAK THEATRE.

WHY THEATRE NAMED AFTER INSTAMATIC CAMERA? HULK THINK IT MAY BE CORPORATE SYNERGY.

HULK HAPPY FOR HEATH LEDGER. HULK ALSO HAPPY THAT NOW HULK CAN STOP HEARING ABOUT HEATH LEDGER FOR AWHILE. IF ARMY REALLY WANT TO CAPTURE HULK, ARMY SHOULD JUST SIT HULK DOWN AND TALK ABOUT HOW GREAT LEDGER IS. HULK WOULD BE ALL, “HULK KNOWS, ALREADY”, AND WOULD ROLL HULK’S EYES AND NOD OFF. THEN ARMY COULD PUT HULK IN ELECTRIC CAGE.

HULK DOES NOT CARE ABOUT TECHNICAL AWARDS. HULK LIKE JESSICA BEIL BUT HULK SAY THAT SHE SHOULD FIRE AGENT, BECAUSE HER DRESS LOOK LIKE OLD TABLECLOTH FROM CHASEN’S.

HULK STARING AT STAGE AND SCRATCHING HULK’S HEAD. WHY DOES STAGE LOOK LIKE COSTCO WAREHOUSE? REMINDER TO HULK FROM HULK: BUY BULK BACON, CHEAP ELECTRONICS AND TOILET PAPER.

HULK CONFUSED BY BOLLYWOOD MUSICAL NUMBER. HULK KNOW THAT INDIA HUGE FORCE IN FILMAKING, BUT HULK WANT TO SEE ANGELINA WIN RIGHT NOW.

BOLLYWOOD NUMBER STILL GOING ON. HULK IS GOING TO FRIDGE FOR ICE CREAM SANDWICH. HULK MAD BECAUSE ONLY VANILLA LEFT. HULK WANTED VANILLA, CHOCOLATE AND STRAWBERRY FILLING IN THREE EQUAL BLOCKS. HULK SMASH FRIDGE AND SOON HULK WILL SMASH CARNATION COMPANY FOR NOT MAKING ENOUGH ICE CREAM SANDWICHES THAT HULK LIKES.

HULK BACK. BOLLYWOOD NUMBER STILL GOING ON. IF NOT OVER SOON, HULK WILL SMASH INDIA.

GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! ANGELINA NOT WIN!!!!!!!!!!
HULK ANGRY, ESPECIALLY AT MARKETING PEOPLE ON “CHANGELING”. THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN ANGELINA’S YEAR. ANGELINA ALWAYS MAKE SURE TO BALANCE SEXY-ACTION-GIRL PARTS WITH WOMEN-WHO-CHANGE-WORLD-WITH-POLITICS AND WOMEN-WHO-FIGHT-SYSTEM-FOR-THE-CHILDREN PARTS. HULK WILL SMASH PUNY MARKETING PEOPLE. BUT HULK WILL NOT SMASH KATE WINSLET, BECAUSE HER SPEECH GOOD AND GENUINE. ALSO HULK IS BIG SAM MENDES FAN. HULK WANT TO PITCH MENDES ON MUSICAL ABOUT HULK AND ANGELINA, WHERE ANGELINA FIGHT SYSTEM FOR THE CHILDREN, AND HULK PLAY LOVE INTEREST WITH SONG IN HEART.

HULK HAVE THEORY THAT SEAN PENN AND MERYL STREEP ARE SAME PERSON, AND TAKE TURNS WINNING OSCAR. HULK CALLS THIS BEING “PENNSTREEP”. PENSTREEP HAVE LIKE 46 OSCARS NOW. HULK THINKS PENNSTREEP SHOULD GIVE ONE TO BRAD PITT FOR “BENJAMIN BUTTON”, AND GIVE FOUR TO ANGELINA BECAUSE ANGELINA PRETTY AND MAKE HULK FEEL FUNNY AND WARM.

HULK CHANGING CHANNEL BECAUSE HULK ALREADY KNOW “SLUMDOG” BEST PICTURE. HULK JUST POPPED “CHANGELING” BLURAY INTO PUNY MACHINE SO HULK CAN WATCH ANGELINA FIGHT SYSTEM FOR HER SON. SO HULK SAY KEEP DREAMS ALIVE AND KEEP REACHING FOR STARS. HULK OUT!

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