CIVIL WAR #6: MARVEL'S DRIVING ME TO DRINK

[A stream of consciousness live-blog]

Hill and Pym - double-grrrrr.

Mormon heroes in Utah? Mustn't make joke about about magic underwear.

Spaceknights heading for Chicago? Are they stopping the in the 1980s on the way?

How rich is it that Crazy Hank is saying the public deserves heroes they can count on. Don't other heroes deserve heroes they can count on?

I'm going to POP! Reed gets immunity for Sue and Johnny? How hypocritical can these guys get?

Ah, the Punisher. Just watched his movie. That was one ginormous violent trope in a box. I love Ray and don't know doodle about the Punisher, but it felt like an R-rated Dick Tracy. Is that how it's supposed to be? Kind of goofy? The Jigsaw stuff was silly, like Danny Devito as the Penguin silly.

I guess if you like a character intro that has: a broken back, a beheading, a broken neck, and another, a knife to the brain, compound fracture to the arm, stabbed, another knife to the brain, slit throat, 3 shot in the chest, spinning machine gun fire and a dozen dead, chair leg in the eye socket/brain, bullet in the chest, another in the chest, bullet to the brain, 2 more in the chest, double shot to the brain, then this movie is for you.

I guess shooting people in the head is his thing, huh?

God, I love Namor. Nobody does the indolent king slouch better.

Man oh manschewitz, I wish Cap were making a deal with Stephen. *sniff* From your pouty lips to God's ears, Subby!

He is day-amn sexy.

Goldbug? Plunderer?

Wow. Punisher just... kills. Wow.

Boy, he's brutal, but he gets big points for not fighting back against Cap.

YAY! Doctor Strange. Please, please, please end your exile and come back and talk some sense into these maroons!

No food? Come back and I'll take you to Denny's. It's on me.

Ok, I HATE these sorts of rationalizations. Doc acts like he isn't a human being, like he's of a different nature than the rest of humanity and super-humanity? Be above it and not influence it? Bull with the shit. You influence it with every step you've ever taken on earth, with every bad guy you've ever fought, with every friend you've ever made. And now? Now, when they need you, you can't get involved? I call magical BS on this entire thing. Monique has spoken!

A true master would be able to have his powers and not use all of them. Cap doesn't hit as hard as he can, Doc can and should be able to do the same. Or at least try. The not trying is KILLING ME.

Moving on because this really toasts my muffin!

Thank God the portal to the Negative Zone has a big 42 in it. Wouldn't want to step in the wrong giant portal and end up in 26 or heaven forfend, 12. They're animals in 12.

Boy, Sue's invisibility power is handy dandy! I would sneak into Laker games.

Oh, crap.

Stupid Tigra. Take your blackberry and don't darken my door again!

Hulking? Again with the oy on that.

Cool. Free the prisoners! Attica! Attica!

Crap, crap, crap, crap. I hate this. I hate that this is going to happen. I hate that Tony and Reed don't see the abomination they've created. Who wants a Pyrrhic victory? Just looking at who is on what side... how could anyone want to fight on the same side as Tony and Reed's horde of the damned.

Damn. Have I mentioned how much I hate this?

Man. I'm dreading reading the next one. Nothing good can possibly come of it. And Stephen's navel gazing while his friends - his friends! - are going to kill each other.

Sheesh.

I need a drink.