GOOD NIGHT, NURSE DOCTOR!

The hotness that is Stephen sends me off to slumber....

Tomorrow we'll fight Nightmare and giant rats and Republicans, I mean, Mighty Avengers.

Goodnight, mustache! Goodnight, cloak! Goodnight, Eye of Agamotto who thinks I don't know he watches me in the shower.

It's time for rest you, brooding, sensitive inner-doodlebug of a doctory sorcerer man who needs a good woman with professional highlights that don't come cheap. (The Clea horned flip is so Dark Dimension)

Put down the Orb and come to bed. The Earth will still need saving tomorrow.

Good night, dear doctor.

KA-BITCHSLAPPP!!!!!

So apparently sometime in the 1980s, when no one stopped the world and melted with me, Hank Pym/Yellowjacket/Members' Only struck his wife Janet The Wasp Van Dyne Pym. Not because they were having problems and she just wouldn't listen to reason, but because she was wearing Candies.

DR. HENRY PYM

Has more issues than Collier's.

IS IT WRONG...

...that I want to sit in Hulk's hand like that and be carried around Whole Foods?

HOUSE OF M #2: AGAIN WITH THE MAGICKS

[A stream of consciousness live-blog]

"I'm The Prince Of Polarity and I approve this neo-realistic rendering."

Okay begin...


Is that old man, Cap? Wow. No Infinity Formula by Lancôme to keep him youngified. He looks like a young george Jessel or an old Norm Crosby.

The city's dirty with muties.

She done pulled a switcharoo. It's "White Man's Burden" with humans & mutants. Which was also a hideous movie with John Travolta from the 90s. The nineties were strange. Flashing on severe male haircuts and too much flannel.

Emma Frost's cleavage hasn't changed. Still a starring role. Do they have psi-powers or do men just automatically obey their commands?

So much for Sue and Reed. Stretch THIS.

Talk shows..and Gambit being cocky...don't really get the whole I-throw-cards-at-people mutant power, but he wouldn't last 3 minutes at Pochanaga Casino.

Namor - the first mutant - that's interesting....is he also the first asshole? What a 'tude.

...my mom has a kind of fixation with him. - HEE.

Sam the cop and Luke the gangsta. Kingpin still the Kingpin. Still loves carbs.

Doc's a shrinker. Hee. Sentry still has a-Void-ance issues.

Love the Colossus bit. Wonder what the pitch was for him back in the day. "Tungsten Communist"? Probably.

Crazy old Hank The Pymster (Ant-Man, Yellowjacket, Giant-Man, Goliath, Tesla Coil, Paper Cup, Salad Fork, etc. - the man has more secret IDs than miles of intestine) is on to something. Save the Sapiens! I wonder if Planet of the Apes in this world is Planet of the Sapiens....get your filthy hands off me, you damned dirty...................person.

It bunches in front when I summon the elements. - Hee... and more boobs, maybe the most revealing decolletage yet... and obsequious Jan - yuck!

James? Wonder why she's calling Logan/Wolverine that. But, regardless, I'm with you, Logan! SHIELD no mas? Now it's House of Magnus with creepy faux Iron Men? Cool.

Wow, this is going to be some ride. Lots to ingest. They must have had a freakin' blast writing all of this. It's WHAT IF? on mush-roofies.

I can't wait to read the Spider-Man miniseries-ish and find out if I was right about what I think I saw (Gwensies and her Magical 1971 headband). I think I am, but with Wanda large and in charge, who knows? And, I get the feeling reality will keep shifting until I just can't stand it and want Bobby to step out of the shower at South Fork. I'm old and there are wolves after me and I need my pills :-p

Cliff Notes: Things are weird.

THESE MEN...

Are not Stephen, and do not speak for him. Ever.

HOUSE OF M #1: MAGICKAL PMS

[A stream of consciousness live-blog]

Part One...

This variant cover, the one with Wanda coming apart in jigsaw pieces by Quesada, is a fabulous piece of art. Personal note: buy Alleve.

Don't know what the "real" non-variant cover looks like but I have a feeling it has boobies on it. Willing to be wrong.

Okay readsies...

She's birthin' babies. Beloved Stephen - you look great! Artist agrees with you. And lookee it's... *sniff*... Vizh. I thought he was all disassembled and dischancelled. Oh wait he is. This is a dream. Like "LOST". Tell me they have any idea as to where that show is going. They got nuthin'. Stop watching.

Oh boy... nothing like telling a mother who (in her head) has just given birth that she has no babies and to "put it back". Hold me, I'm skeered. Crazy screaming white-eyed baby. Oh, I'm gonna have nachtmares. Maybe Stephen will enter the dream realm and buy me a scone.

Poor Wanda. Man, so brutal. Remind me never to lose my mind.

Wow, Erik's looking mighty hot in his deshabille. Did you know that manly naked feet are sexy. Same with forearms. Go figure, but it's true.

Genosha's a bit of a fixer-upper, isn't it?

The Falcon's put on a little weight.

Stark Tower....no fly-ups.

Hank McCoy is a jealous little girl. - Hee.

Wowsie. I love the groups shots. Never fails to send shivers of awe through me to see them all together like that. Hank and Janet? Is that Sentry in the background. hmmmm... it's all higgledy-piggledy already.

I love you Doctor Strange! (He didn't do anything, i just had to say it again.)

Poor Pietro. He really does love (to a freaky extent even) his sister, but then all they've had to rely on is each other. Such a sad scene between him and Magneto. :-( Ga-reat art - the expressions...oh man, this is fabu.

Oh, Cap, always looking on the bright side. And my man, Doc, isn't ready to give up either. I LOVE THESE MEN!

Off to see wanda... and when Chuck says "Oh, no."... you KNOW it's not good. Peeps disappearing....

Doc is so calm.

Love the little bit of Spidey's head peering around the corner.

Blonde hair in bed with him! Oh.My.God. It's Gwen, isn't it? He's got a chitlin and it's with Gwen. Oh.My.God.

Cliff Notes: All the Marvel heroes get together in a penthouse to say, hey, let's kill Wanda because her PMS is altering reality, and Cap says no way she's family and not even beloved Stephen and Professor X know what the hell to do. So they all take a super-Concorde over to Genosha (smoky-rubbly-corpsey island of dead mutants) and are about to do something, even though they don't know yet what that is, and then there's a big white screen-wipe and Peter McSpider-Man wakes up next to the dead-love-of-his-life and forty-ish male readers nationwide touch themselves as one. Can't wait for ish 2.