Tuesday, March 31, 2009


The upcoming "Spider-Man" musical, directed by Julie "Lion King" Taymor and with songs by U2, was semi-previewed this week and here's some news:

"Ishioka’s costumes were breathtaking — a rogues gallery of the villains that appear onstage in the musical received audible gasps from the audience, including the Green Goblin, Lizard, Kraven, Swarm, and a new female villain created at the behest of Taymor, Swiss Miss (dressed in immaculate white dominatrix gear and multiple knives)."

Now, I get why Swarm might be in this show. After all, there is a HUGE untapped audience of fans of obscure villains from "The Champions". But "Swiss Miss" just puts the parafin-wax on my homemade fudge. I mean, hells yes, The Swiss Miss girl is hot, and anyone who wouldn't want to tap that is just crazy. She is truly the ALMOST-ultimate male fantasy: a porn-y blonde who speaks broken English, bearing chocolate. But I just don't see how she is gonna fit into the rogue's gallery, unless it is later revealed that she is really Gwen Stacy, who went mad after ingesting too many tiny marshmallows. That would be cool because it wouldn't be Mary Jane.

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