LETTER I WROTE TO NIGHTSHADE WHEN I WAS IN THIRD GRADE

Deer Nightshade,

You are sooooo pretty. I can see your belly button. I like your hair, too.

Even tho you tried to kill Captin America and you turned Falcon into a werewolf, I still think you are great. I can see your thighs. Do you like Good Humor Ice Cream? I love the Chocolate Fudge Cake Bar. You know the one with the candy bar in the middle and you have to eat all the ice cream and crumblies around it to get to it? That one. It's soooo good. If you came over my house and the Good Humor truck came by, I would buy you one. They are 35 cents. They used to be only 25 cents but there is an oil crisis and my Dad is always yelling at Prezident Nicksman when he's on TV.

How come your boots go up so high? Are you cold? I have a fringe jacket my Dad got me at Sears. You can have it if you want it. It might not fit you but you could cover your chest and that way not get so many colds. But now I am thinking about you covering it and it makes me feel sad. I don't know why but it does.

If we got married you would always be happy because I would always be nice to you and I get really good grades so someday I will be rich and probably a pirate or a ghost or
I will make Bic Banana magic markers. I would make the purple ones purpler.

I heart U 4ever, as much as Gwen,
Michael