NEW AVENGERS #15, VERY SUBTLE COVER (SHAKE HEAD "YES" WHILE SAYING "NO")

[A stream of consciousness live-blog]

Sweet Georgia Brown. Turn the cover upside-down and tell me we all don't know what's happening here. I feel funny.

'Kay opening...

Ms. Marvel has ginormous bazooms too, and I'm a little squicked by her outfit. Too much, or in this case, too little. Ugh. Super slutty. A lightning bolt separating her breasts. Every woman's dream top.

So much for Klaw.

She blogs, too. A Superhero blog is a fun idea, but this one is no fun... 0 comments indeed.

Ok, weird with the "House of M" strikethroughs.... then it's not struck, then it is again. I know this a some big "event"/tentpole crossover thing. Or a rapper's reality show on MTV.

Cap, being all Cap supportive...he's like the youngish father-figure from a Harlequin. But with a vibranium shield.

Mutant-Human relations are a disaster now... Hmmm...were they ever good? I have seen some of the Marvel Mutants. They look angry. Are we harshing on them? So wrong. They will kill us with their eye-beams and spiky tails.

Spidey's sooo cute.. all sitting nervously on the wall. Such a little boy. Surrogate for all 8 year-olds everywhere. Confused, uncertain, and stuck to a wall.

Teehee.. JJ. Good to see Robbie. And there's that Kat again...

Wow, having Cap and Iron Man vouch for you, and not just say you're okay, but that you're a great hero... I'm so happy for Peter!

Say yes or I quit. - Love him.

Wow... JJ actually held out his hand to Spider-Man. Love Robbie's expression - complete disbelief.

Love Cap's intro.. he really and truly, no hyperbole at all, thinks of these people as family. *sniff*

The new team... exciting! Luke's wearing a suit.. hee... JJ stewing. What's the deal with Beltsville?

That JJ! He's such a poop.

Beltsville again. What gives? They're practically bashing us over the head with Beltsville and Liberty Meadows - same design.... tempted to google it.

Bad Jessica meets some eurotrash villain in a pub... yes i am, no i'm not, maybe... ARGHHHH. Stab yourself in the head already. I hear there are other Spider-Women anyways.

I'm thrilled with the new team. All the corporate characters (TMcoptright2009marvelentertainmentunlimitedco) and a few wierdsies. The Sentry looks a little like Colin Farrell in "Alexander". I think I hate him.

Cliff Notes: So JJ Jameson is promised exclusive coverage of the New Avengers if he will completely go against his stock characterization of the newsguy who hates superheroes and write pretty, shiny stories about their avengings. Then he acts like himself and they're all mad. Captain America promises, that somehow, because this is America and we're all good and the embodiment of the highest in man, he will save Spider-Woman from her quadruple-agent status and panty lines. He goes out to meet the press and gives an Obama-palooza speech and intros the new team, who New York loves, and thank you so much for putting your often-invaded-and-destroyed-headquarters at 33rd and Madison, by the way, can't wait 'til the next Cosmic Menace. Again, thanks.